گمشده

After all that madness—alas—

بعد از آن دیوانگی ها ، ای دریغ

I cannot believe that I have become sane.

باورم ناید که عاقل گشته ام

It is as though he has died within me, that I have grown

گوییا او مرده در من کاینچنین

so weary, silent, and empty.

خسته و خاموش و باطل گشته ام

At every moment, dejected, I ask the mirror,

هر دم از آیینه می پرسم ملول

“What am I now in your eyes? What am I?”

چیستم دیگر بچشمت چیستم ؟

But in the mirror I see, alas,

لیک در آینه می بینم که وای

that I am not even a shadow of what I was.

سایه ای هم زانچه بودم و نیستم

Like that Indian dancer, with grace,

همچو آن رقاصه هندو بناز

I stamp my feet, but upon my own grave.

پای میکوبم ولی بر گور خویش

Ah, with a hundred longings, this ruin

وه که با صد حسرت این ویرانه را

I have illuminated with my own light.

روشنی بخشیده ام از نور خویش

I seek no road toward the city of day.

ره نمیجویم بسوی شهر روز

Surely I lie asleep in the depths of a grave.

بیگمان در قعر گوری خفته ام

I possess a jewel, but out of fear

گوهری دارم ولی آن را ز بیم

I have hidden it within the heart of marshes.

در دل مردابها بنهفته ام

I go… but I do not ask myself,

می روم ... اما نمیپرسم ز خویش

“Where is the road? Where the destination? What is the purpose?”

ره کجا ... ؟ منزل کجا ...؟ مقصود چیست ؟

I bestow kisses, but I myself am unaware

بوسه می بخشم ولی خود غافلم

who is the idol of this maddened heart.

کاین دل دیوانه را معبود کیست

When he died within me, suddenly all that existed

او چو در من مرد نا گه هر چه بود

assumed another aspect in my eyes.

در نگاهم حالتی دیگر گرفت

It was as though night, with its two cold hands,

گوییا شب با دو دست سرد خویش

took my restless soul into its embrace.

روح بی تاب مرا در بر گرفت

Ah… yes… this is me… but what use is it?

آه ... آری ... این منم ... اما چه سود

He who was within me is no longer there, no longer there.

او که در من بود دیگر نیست نیست

Like a madwoman, I cry beneath my breath,

می خروشم زیر لب دیوانه وار

“Who, after all, is he who was within me—who?”

او که در من بود آخر کیست کیست ؟